In many cases through the years, our wedding start to get into a routine. He works until late hours and she is busy developing her career and they spend a little time together. Sex is also on the decline, and instead of 3 time s a weeks, they are almost never enjoy that! This is a dangerous phenomenon that can result in cheating and in the end divorce.
And it happens with so many married couples!
So what the heck can we do?
There are a number of factors to consider in order to avoid getting into a state of burnout and wanting to break up.
Breaking the routine
Routine Just as it has benefits on a daily basis, and in times of crisis we yearn for it, so it is also difficult and abrasive. Every day you get up in the morning for the routine chores of the day (everyone in your life), and a kind of tiredness from the routine and a desire to get up. It is impossible to avoid the routine, but it is possible to break it from time to time and refresh yourself: entertain friends at your home, go out to be a guest, be open to new friends, plan shared activities for you. Spend the Sabbath with the family and reserve one regular evening a week for spending time with your spouse. Spend every day thinking about relationships and family, and thanking for what you have is the only way that helps keep the embers burning.
Lack of communication between spouses is the source of evil. Most of us grew up under the message that we must not reveal weaknesses – we internalized it strongly and became human bunkers. In a relationship it is a terminal illness: we are closed and thus we stop ourselves from opening up and developing. When we build around ourselves a glass palace of beliefs and opinions and fortify ourselves in it, our ability to accept our other is very limited, our ability to listen is minimal and our ability to speak in a dignified and respectful way is pushed aside. When this is the case, there is no fruitful discourse. The most important thing for us is to be right, we act out of ego, always offended and not connected to anything there is no greater power than to reveal feelings and weaknesses. A strong person is measured by his abilities to bring out what is inside, to always tell the truth, to admit ignorance, not to hide difficulty or disappointment. A brave person is one who knows how to share all of these with his partner. In situations where we communicate but disrespectfully this will immediately lead to a quarrel and a murky atmosphere, and worse is, creating irritation when we do not speak and the anger rises and intensifies within us. Poor communication leads to rupture and burnout in a relationship. When we give our mind to create positive communication the erosion less will seep into us.
Throughout the years of marriage, the daily routine and lack of communication all turn gray. Nothing is glamorous, promising – or even depressing. From this place a crack can form that can expand into a real fracture, if we do not treat it. The thrills no longer exist and then you start squinting out to look for such.
Remember that the excitement you had at the beginning of the relationship is the other. It is a chemical cocktail in the brain, and is valid for several years at best. Send her a unique message of how she is special for you, how beautiful she is and luck you are. Here is a great list of such messages(birthday, but not only). But one should be educated and create such mutual and intimate friendships that will help each of you feel protected and loved and most wrapped in the company of your spouse. The thrills you will make an effort to create will be different but not necessarily less good. Like traveling to see a world, violating studies, each in what excites him. To be able to maintain your marriage, you must accept the fact that a relationship changes shape over time, and becomes less extreme – while friendships and intimacy deepen, and are priceless.
Cumulative erosion that is not treated quickly and effectively, leads to negative consequences into the marriage, such as negative attitudes towards the spouse, hypersensitivity to the marital communication, lack of appreciation and in severe cases even loss of interest and indifference towards the spouse and contempt for him, all accompanied by a feeling of bitterness. greatness.